Waiting and Trusting

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him" Ps. 37:7a

One of my favorite things to do is read missionary bios and quotes. These are some very random thoughts, that are also some of my favorites quotes that give a picture of the things that are weighing heavy on my heart lately. As this year comes to a close and thoughts of plans for next year begin to surface, even as worry and fear attempt to rear their ugly heads, I find so much comfort knowing that fellow Christian missionaries have struggled through some of the same thoughts and passions. As I prepare my heart for the mission opportunities coming next year, I'm so thankful to serve a God that is so compassionate, strong, and my true Refuge. My love for Him stirs me to worship and service. In this life, no matter where we're placed in this world, we're definitely never alone- we always carry the love of God in our hearts. He blesses us, so that we can be a blessing to others. Missions will continue to be necessary until God's name has been preached to the ends of the earth. Missions, as is any service to God, is a free act of the will, in servitude to God, to bring glory and honor to His name. Until every tribe, tongue, and nation can worship the LORD, missions is a necessary vehicle to bring and proclaim the Gospel and make disciples. Lately this has been a huge tug on my heart. There are those who refuse the Gospel and that Jesus died for their sins and don't want Him as their Lord and Savior... but what about those who have never heard and have never been given that choice? Who's Jesus to them? Who's interceding for them? Who's showing them the true God of Love? For that matter, who's loving them?

"Cast your burden on the LORD,And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." -Ps. 55:22

"What would I do with starry crowns except to cast them at His feet?"- Mary Slessor

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supplies." -J. Hudson Taylor

"Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell." -C.T. Studd

"We talk of the second coming, half the world has never heard of the first." -Oswald J. Smith

"We must be global Christians, with a global mission, because our God is a global God." - John Stott

"If God has fit you to be a missionary, I would not have you shrivel down to be a king." -Charles H. Spurgeon

"Brother, if you would enter that Province, you must go forward on your knees." -J. Hudson Taylor

"Why do we insist on building the largest and most impressive structures in our city when people on the other side of town are hungry, jobless and worshipping in storefronts?" -K.P. Yohannan

"I wasn't God's first choice for what I've done for China…I don't know who it was…It must have been a man…a well-educated man. I don't know what happened. Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn't willing…and God looked down…and saw Gladys Aylward…And God said - "Well, she's willing."
- Gladys Aylward

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." -1 Thess. 5:24

God is love

Some things that are heavy on my heart this month...

God does not have to come and tell me what I must do for Him, He brings me into a relationship with Himself where I hear His call and understand what He wants me to do, and I do it out of sheer love to Him... When people say they have had a call to foreign service, or to any particular sphere of work, they mean that their relationship to God has enabled them to realize what they "can do for God."
- Oswald Chambers

'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters, and servants and masters not to come there. And then look Christ in the face, whose mercy you have professed to obey, and tell him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish his mercy to the world.
-William Booth

Some interesting thoughts from an article I read today...

"There is the command, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." We say,"That means other people." There is the promise, "Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." We say, "That means me." We must have a special divine indication that we fall under the command; we do not ask any special divine indication that we fall under the blessing. By what right do we draw this line of distinction between the obligations of Christianity and its privileges? By what right do we accept the privileges as applying to every Christian and relegate its obligations to the conscience of the few?


If I were standing by the bank of a stream, and some little children were drowning, I would not need any officer of the law to come along and serve on me some legal paper commanding me under such and such a penalty to rescue those children. I should despise myself if I should stand there with the possibility of saving those little lives, waiting until, by some legal proceeding, I was personally designated to rescue them!

Seeing a need and realizing God has prepared you to meet that need. “Every one of us rests under a sort of general obligation to give life and time and possession to the evangelization of the souls everywhere that have never heard of Jesus Christ. And we are bound to go, unless we can offer some sure ground of exemption which we could with a clear conscience present to Jesus Christ and be sure of His approval upon it.

"We have taken our lives in our own hands and proposed to go our own way unless God compels us to go some other way. What I ask is that, until God reveals to us some special, individual path on either side, we should give our lives over into Jesus' hands to go in that path which He has clearly marked out before His church."

"I think love will hear calls where the loveless heart will not know that they are sounding. If there were a hundred little children crying, a mother would be able to pick out the voices of her own - especially if they were voices of pain and suffering.

There is a mighty keenness in the ears of love, and I wonder, after all, whether that may not explain a great deal that one is perplexed over in this matter of a special missionary call. Is it possible that, in many cases, it is just a matter of a callused heart, a reluctant will, or a sealed mind?

God so loved the world that He gave. It was need in the world plus love in God that constituted a call for Jesus. Do we need more than what sufficed for Him? If they were our own, would we hesitate and hold back?"

"While vast continents are shrouded in darkness... the burden of proof lies upon you to show that the circumstances in which God has placed you were meant by God to keep you out of the foreign mission field."- Ion Keith-Falconer

Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't.
John Piper

And thus I aspire to preach the gospel, not where Christ was already named so that I would not build on another man's foundation.
Paul

Answering a student's question, 'Will the heathen who have not heard the Gospel be saved?' thus, 'It is more a question with me whether we, who have the Gospel and fail to give it to those who have not, can be saved.'
C.H. Spurgeon.

If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him.
C.T. Studd

25th birthday, Kenya style!

I could not of asked for a more blessed birthday than to spend my "quarter of a century" birthday on the continent I love, in Africa where my heart is, on a safari I've only ever dreamed about, feeding giraffes (one of my biggest dreams come true) and serving the Lord on a missions trip which is the greatest privilege of all.

Finding Thomas

A day in the clinic...

During most days, I was thoroughly blessed to be in the clinic seeing patients who normally have little to no access to healthcare at all. Talking with many of the medical staff and assessing the patients who travel from far to seek medical attention for their ailments, I was gently reminded of the many treasures we take for granted on a daily basis. While healthcare costs may rise, there is access to quality healthcare nonetheless. Standing in a clinic within a community that, before it's existence, the community had no access to healthcare was a reality I could not ignore. Individuals walked (hiked) miles upon miles to reach the clinic that was their only access to medical personnel and supplies. The importance of meeting these patients and thoroughly assessing their complications was of the utmost importance.

Being called into the waiting room, I saw some faces I recognized: one of the teachers and a child from the public school. I followed the clinician into an exam room with the student. I learned he was a student at the public school, an orphan and border (he lived at the school as no family member would take care of him). Today he was brought to the clinic by his teacher for an assessment of the "pains" he was feeling. He had no shoes, clothes were very torn, and he was undeniably hungry. His teacher who had been observant and caring enough to notice the boy not feeling well, brought him to the clinic for further evaluation- his teacher was this young teenager's only caregiver and "guardian". After assessments, he was in need of medications and I watched as the clinic staff tried calling relatives of the boy to come and assist in caring for him and paying the bill. I was deeply saddened when I learned that no one was willing to come. I looked in his eyes during this situation as he humbly sat there knowing no one would come to help him, and I was broken. Knowing that this was one of God’s children and feeling that children deserve to grow up with love, and care, and toys… yet he had none of these.

Through support and donations the clinic is able to offer services at a very low cost, treatment and medications added to way less than $5… yet no one would pay it. I saw something wonderful and beautiful in that teacher as he stood up and offered to pay what he could, knowing that that teacher has sick and hurting children of his own at home, whom we had seen on previous days.
I can't explain what struck me most that day... that no family member was willing to step up and intercede for this young boy... to pay the less than $5 hospital bill, or that his teacher was empathetic and aware enough to the fact that something was wrong with this boy (Kenyans don't often "show" pain) and was determined to do something about it- to bring him to help and willing to cover the bill while he had his own hurt and sick children at home. Sure I could have easily paid the bill, the clinic could have easily waved it, but that was not the important lesson here, for me or for this orphan child, Thomas.

I was reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 25 as I saw the teacher care for God’s child as his own and interceded for him. I saw the love and hand of God in this situation as I watched this teacher choose to not ignore pain and suffering and yet give and love, without hesitation, out of the very little he had. It also reminded me of the story of the widow's mite when Jesus said, "for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on" (Mark 12:44). It was a blessing to watch and see the beauty in that brokenness. Just like the widow's mite, this was a lesson in love and sacrificial giving I will not soon forget.

The sense of community and love in Kenya never ceases to amaze and inspire me. To love as He loves- it is the second greatest commandment: LOVE your neighbor. Jesus said "whatever you did for the least of these, you did for ME". This was pure religion in action indeed.

"Pure and undefiled religion is this: to care after orphans and widows in their time of need and to keep oneself unspotted from the world" -James 1:27.

Amazing Grace

I hear your prayer Africa, through no words... I hear your voice and cries; I see your tears.

Monday August 29th

Through unexpected events (rain and illnesses), some members of our team were asked to go on a home visit to visit with a dear friend. I wish I had better words to capture the feelings, emotions, tears, and blessings of that day. I pray God would speak through me, that I would be a vessel, a bridge to others of her words, her cries.

Ps. 31:8- "Speak up for all those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all those who are desolate."

The day we met Grace. Hiking from the clinic up a hill, down the railroad tracks, then down a slippery, muddy, steep terrain, around the cow grazing, we arrived at Grace's hut. The aftermath of the recent day's rain still left a deep impact of flooding to this home made of mud. Some of the youngest of the eight children were sitting in the mud, no clothes, eating dirty maize (corn) for lunch with dirty hands. Her home, with the walls half beaten away by the recent rainfall, had to be no bigger than my own bedroom back in America. However, hers housed a family of 11 (eight children, parents, and a mother-in-law). Homes like this are very common in Kenya, I'm not sure where the outdoor "toilet" was, but there was only a small little grill for all the cooking. Dishes were done outside and the clean ones piled there on a piece of wood next to dirty ones and the grill. The sightings of a typical Kenyan property is not what struck me that day, nor what brought the individuals of the team to tears, it was the stories and those broken faces.

As we stood on her property (railroad property that could be taken by the government whenever they wanted), we listened to her story and that of her children. Grace, a recovered alcoholic, gave up brewing when she gave her life to the Lord. Unfortunately, her husband did not make the same decision and continues in their previous lifestyle. Gone for periods of time without explanation, she is left to feed her children from the maize they pick and milk from the cow she takes care of for her friend, that is not hers. Her oldest son, who tried to make extra money for his family (which was stolen from the father when he learned of the events), tried to commit suicide and was brought to the clinic for urgent medical attention, further breaking his mother's heart.

"True and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." -James 1:27

It is often overwhelming when you look around you and all you see is true pain, suffering, and poverty. I looked into those children's eyes and into Grace's and my heart was struck and ached when I saw the face of Jesus on hers, and in the eyes of her children. I felt at peace knowing that the God who takes care of me, will take care of her as well if we take it to Him in prayer. I stood there praying, searching what words of encouragement could I give to such brokenness? As I listened to the other women on the team tell her their stories of alcoholic husbands, my heart beat with peace and hope, remembering how we are each His children, and He loves us all the same. He has not forgotten Grace or her family; He is right there in their midst and suffering.

"There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be open-handed toward those of your people who are poor and needy in your land" -Deut. 15:11

Seeing the pain in her eyes, in her children's eyes, could almost suffocate the words from your throat, until we remember how big God is and that He is the only source of hope in such a situation. So I prayed for her and her family... knowing that it was the best thing for her and the only thing I could do to help. Watching the tears flow from her eyes, listening as she humbly tried to offer us something to eat or drink with her hospitality, I was heartbroken for what more we could do.

Psalm 140:12- "I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy".

Grace has filled my prayers so often as we've met with others and talked with pastors in what would be a blessing to her, something we could do to empower her out of her situation- to break her from the vicious cycle of poverty that takes so many captive prisoners. I urge anyone who reads her story, though I can not do her story justice with my words, to lift her up in your prayers as well. My heart breaks for Grace as I pray about how to bless her in her committed walk with the Lord. The LORD will watch over Grace, just as He protects all of us as His children. I do not know why God had our paths cross with Grace that day, but I feel extremely blessed and privileged to be able to share in her life... to look into her eyes, to hear her voice, and experience her tears.

Mbarikiwe Grace, Mungu Akubariki

Is. 61:1- "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners."

"If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." -C.T. Studd

Karibu Nyumbani

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." -1 Thes. 5:24

Finally arriving in the village of Ilula late Sunday night, we were welcomed by the children after breakfast Monday morning. I have seen their welcome ceremonies before, yet I am moved to tears each time I'm welcomed back home. All the children stand in a circle, sing and give you a bouquet of roses. You walk around the circle, shaking everyone's hand as they say "Karibu" to you. When it was my turn to be offered the roses, the beautiful child said words I've longed to hear in 4 long years... "Karibu Nyumbani" (Welcome home). I looked into those beautiful eyes, as I heard those words and peace flooded my heart... I was finally home again. I gladly responded with a big, traditional "Asante Sana" with a smile on my face and watery eyes I could not deny. At the end of the circle our team stood in line, joining in on the song and dance... I felt at that moment that if my heart could smile, it was smiling then. I prayed to the Lord with thanksgiving, "thank you Lord for bringing me back home". In those moments I treasured the blessings of a calm heart and His peace which surpasses all understanding. In those moments it didn't matter what we had just gone through, it didn't even matter that I'd barely slept in over a week now. In those moments, I felt the Lord say, "I brought you here, this is for you... enjoy it and welcome home".

Karibu Nyumbani!!!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." -Jer. 29:11

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." -Prov. 3:5-6

Airplanes, airports, and layovers... oh my!

Good things come to those who wait... and wait. In a scene from a popular movie I adore, "Evan Almighty", God, portrayed by Morgan Freeman asks the lead actress, " If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?" While this isn't a Biblical quote, it has always struck me as quite humorous regarding the way our lives (and prayers) work out and get answered. How often do we pray for particular attributes, but when God sharpens us and gives us opportunity to refine and demonstrate that attribute, we grumble and complain?

Our "Team Kenya" as we became called, learned this very lesson as we set out from Upland, CA to eventually end up in a little village named Kipkaren in Kenya. After several months of praying for flexibility with this trip, we experienced time and again what flexibility looks like and means in practice when schedules change, flights are delayed, luggage is lost again and again, a large group goes 3 days with no sleep and no shower, and communication breaks down.

For those who did not hear the fun stories, our flight from LA to Washington D.C. got delayed due to a lightning storm that was ONLY over the airport. We were re-routed to Pittsburgh, only to sit on the plane for another 3 hours because the storm wouldn't pass and we were unable to leave the plane due to security laws. We then made a return trip back to Washington D.C just in time of being under the 3 hour time limit security law of unauthorized landing. Our 5 hour flight turned into over 9 hours, with no food and them rationing the water they had.

Upon arriving in D.C., we learned we were a whole 7 minutes late in missing our plane to Ghana. Another couple hours later in a customer service line to learn that our next best bet to get to Kenya was to take a morning flight to London, then proceed to Nairobi. So we camped out in the D.C. airport for another 6 hours, then proceeded to London so we could have a 12 hour layover!! Needing to be at the airport early to retrieve our luggage that did not make it on our plane with us, we camped out another night in the airport, this time in a small cafe that offered only wooden chairs (be flexible!) Hakuna Matata!

After the wonderful night in London, we found out in the morning that the plane bringing our luggage was 3 hours late... proceeding to get checked in then, we found out the plane was another 30 minutes late... then 1 hour late... therefore making it impossible for our luggage to get on our plane with us. So glad we packed our carry-ons so cautiously, hakuna matata!! Getting on the plane in London we all felt so relieved to finally be on our way to Africa!! Sitting on the tarmac for another 1 hour because there was too much traffic in the air came at no surprise to us by this point. Tired, and in serious want of a shower, we were just glad to finally be heading to our final destination (almost). We could only pray our luggage was having a safari njema (safe journey) as well.

Throughout all of this, I greatly pondered all the people I had asked to pray that our luggage would get to the village safely and without damage, thievery, or confiscation ahead of time. We were taking over a lot of medical equipment and tools that we did not want to get "lost" along the way, either through the airport's "fragile" handling of luggage or by officials that decided such items should not be brought into the country.

Arriving in Kenya was such a relief, not only after flying for 3 days with no shower or alone time, not only after a week of not getting enough sleep, but to be back in my beloved country. Gripped with exhaustion, I almost could not take it all in. I had finally returned. Tears fell in that airport... for I was too tired to fight the whirlwind of emotions that were flooding my heart and mind all at once.

Spending the night in Nairobi to get a flight to Eldoret the next day (which was also over 3 hours late), half the team headed back to the airport in the morning to retrieve our luggage that had arrived after us. We got together to once again pray for our missing cargo that held so many "necessities" for the next couple weeks. The 3 days without our luggage, often made each of us ponder what the weeks would be like if we never saw our luggage. Was God teaching us how little we need? How much we need to depend on Him? How to not put value in "things"? Surely if God didn't want us to have our luggage, we wouldn't and He would provide. Coming back from the church to the place we were staying, we all smiled when we saw our luggage sitting out on the lawn next to the van we were taking. It was all there, all accounted for! Nothing was lost... or confiscated. We also had the added blessing that God provisioned for other missionaries from ELI (Mark and Cathy Lessig) to be at the same place, the same time we were and they were driving back to Eldoret the same day we were flying there! They were able to take half of our luggage with them, ensuring the "necessities" for ministry (the donations) arrived safely as they skipped the last leg of our journey.

In conclusion, when you pray for flexibility, you will most likely be given opportunities to be flexible! God did a great work in getting all of us safely to Kenya, and eventually to Kipkaren. We learned afterward that since our luggage arrived after us, we were able to walk it out of the airport, without needing to go through customs at all! Mungu ni mwema (God is good)!! It was a long journey, but He was faithful for each step of it. We saw His hand as our plans were tweaked and molded into His plans, arriving at the precise time He wanted us to. No small event that took place took Him by surprise, for He has a reason and purpose for everything He permits. In the end, I can definitely say we are all a little more flexible these days. We learned how to have the control taken away from us, and we learned that we can survive out of a backpack for over 3 days- more than some Kenyans live off of their entire lives. It wasn't easy (or always fun), but I know I at least got a little closer to accepting the Kenyan motto, Hakuna Matata (no problem/worries)!! Mungu ni mwema!!

Psalm 135:7: "He causes the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth. He makes lightening for the rain; He brings the wind out of His treasuries"

Ubarikiwe (bless you all),

Laurie

Where your heart is...

"Home is where your heart is"- a popular saying that I never quite fully comprehended as much as these past few years.

Almost 4 years, my life was forever changed. The day I set my foot on soil I had only dreamed of and seen in pictures, with an enthusiastic passion in my heart, tears in my eyes, and the biggest smile I've ever had on my face. I had had a vision and passion for a place God had set in my heart that I had never before visited. A passion, a desire, an interest, a love cultivated over years of reflection and prayer. Is it possible to love something before you see it? To love people before you meet them? To love a country, a continent you've never been to? I believe it is, when God places that place and those people on your heart.

I often pray for a bigger heart, to be able to love more... to love more like Jesus did so that others may see Him in me. For a big heart that loves through poverty and brokenness, that sees the beauty behind those broken eyes... that sees the face of Jesus. Matt. 25 says, “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ Being surrounded by so much suffering requires the love of Jesus in our hearts. People often ask me, "Why Africa? ... when people are in need everywhere". This is true I tell them, there are hurting people everywhere; but I'm not called everywhere... I'll GO where I'm called. We are commanded numerous times throughout the Bible to GO... therefore it's a much bolder statement to say that you are called to stay. Regardless, complacency can be a very dangerous place to be... and contentment a dangerous attitude when used outside the context of fervent prayer and trust in the Lord's Sovereignty. If we all lived our comfortable, content, and complacent lives, what would happen to all the lives and souls all over the world, to the ends of the earth? What would happen to this world if we all sat around, waiting for "someone else to do it?" I don't say any of this lightly, nor do I take any of the Lord's commands lightly. I often wonder why He would call me at all, why not someone else who's "more equipped". Someone who has more knowledge, more wisdom, more skills and talents, and more loving? Why not them? Why me? I am reminded and humbled by the words of Paul in situations such as these, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all" (1 Tim. 1:25).

Plagued with the knowledge of my inadequacies, shortcomings, and weaknesses as a "Christian", "missionary", and "nurse", I am in constant awe and need of my Father's wisdom and strength and so ever thankful He has enough strength for the both of us. With His love, He can accomplish what He wills through me, irregardless of any "qualifications" or "titles". It's so common and easy in American culture to pursue fame, fortune, and power... hiding behind masks and titles. Yet it is God who gives us our strengths, abilities, passions, skills, gifts, and talents. He is the Provider.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me" (1 Cor. 15:10).

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:14).

"For the love of Christ compels us..." (2 Cor. 5:14) "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:2-3).

Africa is a beautiful place, with beautiful people who deserve blessings and to know their Father, and get to call Him Savior. They are people I love and wish everyone could meet. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matt. 5:3). Yes it's true, there are hurting people everywhere and Africa isn't for everyone... but it is for me. I have come to that realization over almost 10 years of prayer... Oh how I miss it when I'm not there, so much that it makes my heart ache every time I think about it... fills my eyes with tears as I picture the faces

of those I have met and had the privilege of calling "rafiki" (friend).

After 4 very long (yet in reflection short) years, it is with great anticipation and thankfulness that I am heading back this week to Kenya, my love, my first love. I may not know what the future holds or when I'll be back to Africa or Kenya after this short trip. People who know me best like to joke and say "IF I come back from Africa at all", oh how much my passion and excitement for this land and people must shine brightly in my spirit. In conclusion, I am SO grateful to believe and trust in a Sovereign Lord who does know my future and has blessed me with an opportunity to serve Him; following His lighted path is the safest place to be in the world. Home truly is where your heart is.

"It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home."
- J. Hudson Taylor

Our big "KARIBOU" to the Kipkaren village, 12/8/07

All verses NASB or NKJV

A Life Less Ordinary

"The whole world is your oyster"... Webster has an interesting definition for an oyster as "something that is or can be readily made to serve one's personal ends". Oysters produce pearls, objects of great value. Once you have the oyster, it gives up the pearl without much of a fight. Getting the pearl requires that the oyster be opened and despite the hardness of its shell, they can be opened with ease. So then, what are your pearls?

The Command

As Christians, the whole world is a mission field, for the fields are "already white for harvest"! What the world needs is more laborers for His harvest. We are called to be His witnesses and preach the good news to the "end of the age" (Matt. 28:20), to the "end of the earth" (Acts 1:8), so that "His way may be known on earth and His salvation among all nations"(Ps. 67)!! We hold within us something much more precious and valuable than pearls, we have the true, living, breathing Word of God!

John 4: 34-35: "Jesus said to them, 'My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work... Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest!"

Luke 10:2: "Then He said to them, 'The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

Romans 10:12-14: "For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For 'whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved' (Joel 2:32). How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent?"

William Carey, the "Father of modern missions" proclaimed in one of his sermons to, "Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God". Hudson Taylor has said, "The Great Commission is not an option to be considered; it is a command to be obeyed". Don Rogers, founder of ELI in Africa has also said "We cannot change the whole world, but we can change the world for one person". This reminds me of what Hudson Taylor has also often said, "If I had 1,000 lives, I'd give them all for China". I can definitely relate to these fellow missionaries in every one of their quotes and if I had 1,000 lives, I know where they'd go!!

A Change of Scenery

"But He said to them, 'I must preach the kingdom of God to the other cities also, because for this purpose I have been sent" (Luke 4:43).

Oh how often God leads us in life through the doors He closes- He leads by hindrance sometimes more than by the open gate. I think of all the times He lead Paul on his missionary journey by closing doors along the way (Acts 16:6-10). It is these closed doors that demand our greatest obedience at times as well as test our faith, trust, and patience. His timing is everything! "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Eccl. 3:11). "He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens. See I have set before you an open door and no one can shut it" (Rev. 3:7b-8a). Alexander Graham Bell once said, "Sometimes we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us".

I have learned so much these past three years through the "closed doors" in my life and on my journey. It has been through this time, these trials, that I have had many lessons in obedience, trust, and patience. There is something so very humbling about having a deep seated desire in wanting to serve and feeling called to something and somewhere, yet God in His sovereignty calls you to "stay" and be filled by Him. When our entire lives get shaken and turned upside down, the only thing you can hold onto is the One, true constant in your life. For He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8) and He is the one who goes with you for He never leaves nor forsakes (Deut. 31:6). It has been through this time and season of "staying" and being filled by Him, that I've encountered the humble lesson of being used in ways and in places I never thought I would or could. I have seen firsthand that everywhere is a mission field and sometimes the people that need us most are the people right in front of us, depending on the season. At times I felt like this previous winter season would never pass, however I am forever grateful for all the invaluable lessons I have learned. God holds all of life in balance and for "everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven" (Eccl. 3:1). True obedience to the Father as a believer is not always easy, but it never returns void. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!" (Ps. 30:5). Ministries and mission opportunities have gone on without me... years ago, I never thought I'd be where or who I am today. I guess that's what God does with habitual planners like me! I never thought that if I could give 1,000 lives for a place and people that God set in my heart, that He would call me to use this 1 short life somewhere else. Yet, experience and the stories of many other missionaries who have gone before could be witness of the same lesson learned. I guess that's where obedience and faith come in.

In Gen. 12, the Lord says to Abram to "Get out of your country, from your family, and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you". The Lord told Abraham to get up and go, and he went! Without question or hesitation, Abraham sets out on his journey... not even knowing where he's headed! Sometimes such bold actions can appear scary, until we remember who our Sovereign Lord is. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord" (Jer. 17:7).

He knows the plans He has for all of us and they are good (Jer. 29:11)! In reflection, hindsight is always clearer. As God prepares me for what's to come, I look back on all that He has done and taught me these past few years and realize I wouldn't want to be without any of those lessons now. As difficult as the time was, I am beginning to see what God was doing in the midst of it all this whole time. I thought I'd be further along on this journey of mine... with a different definition and outlook these days I realize in some ways that I am strides ahead... in other ways it has only just begun. As I embark on this road that God is setting before me, it looks different than expected, and through God closing doors, it's headed somewhere different than expected... nevertheless... Safari Yangu continues on!!

A greater calling

The creation and the calling...

The creation of woman was not an afterthought. Man was designed and created with her coming creation planned and assured.

"It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." -Gen. 2:18

Helper does not imply inferiority (Gen. 1:27); it describes function rather than worth. God identified Himself as a "helper" (Heb. 'ezer) to Israel (Ex. 18:4; Deut. 33:7). No one loses value in humbly assuming the role of helper. As a "helper" to the man, the woman became his partner spiritually in the overwhelming task of obedience to God and dominion over the earth. She was a vital part in "filling the earth" (Gen. 1:28). The woman, as ultimate friend to the man, would bring him comfort and fellowship (Gen. 2:23,24). No one else could encourage and inspire him as she was created to do (Gen. 2:20). The phrase "comparable to him" (Heb. kenegdo) occurs only in Gen. 2:18 & 20, emphasizing the commonality of the man and the woman. "Designed as the perfect counterpart for the man, the woman was neither inferior nor superior, but she was alike and equal to the man in her personhood while different and unique in her function."

Woman and man were both created in God's image (Gen. 1:27)- woman corresponds perfectly to the man, the same flesh and blood, and in "the image of God", equal to him in every way. By the creative act itself, she is inseparably linked to the man (Gen. 2: 21-23). From this act by God, the unity of the race is assured (Gen 1:27-28), woman's dignity and worth is affirmed (Gen. 2:18, 20, 22), and the foundation for Christian marriage is set forth (Gen 2:24).

Knowing and understanding where we came from, what we are designed for, and where our worth really lies as women helps us to understand, learn, and embrace our greater calling as the women God formed us to be. The key to this "greater calling" in life is found in the key verse: "I will make him a helper..." for "it is not good that man should be alone"(Gen. 2:18), "for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him" (NKJV, or "suitable" or "fit for him" in NASB & ESV respectively).

Following is the story of a woman who embraced this greater calling in life- dedicating her life to being her husband's helper in his calling and ministry, laying aside her first love and calling- missions in China. She laid aside being a full time missionary in China, something she had desired from a young age, to fulfill her God made calling as her husband's helper, friend, encourager, cheerleader, and trusted confidant. She exemplified how a Christian woman can be both strong and independent, yet gentle, quiet and submissive. What a truly beautiful calling that is, fulfilling your biblical role laid out at the beginning of creation... what a true blessing it would be to have the same words spoken of us one day. "We were called by God as a team"- Billy Graham

1 Cor. 11:9-12: "Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man... nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord... all things are from God."

Prov. 18:22: "He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord".

Ruth Graham's biography

"Ruth Bell was born in China, the daughter of medical missionaries. As a young girl there in the small hospital compound, Ruth first sensed the great calling to abandon all for the sake of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Her childhood was spent on China’s mission field surrounded by disease, despair, and the eventual disorder and chaos of civil wars. The suffering she observed only strengthened in her the conviction of mankind’s need for the Savior. Until her early adult years, she dreamed of serving as a single missionary in a far corner of the world—the mountainous nation of Tibet. Under terrible homesickness during boarding school, Ruth learned to overcome the loneliness of being far from loved ones by taking care of the needs of others. She went to the United States at the age of 17 to attend Wheaton College. Shortly after her arrival on campus, she was introduced to “Preacher,” the nickname other students gave the strapping Billy Graham. The couple began courting, and so also began a struggle in Ruth between what she thought was her calling to the mission field and her blossoming love for the driven young evangelist. In late April 1941 after much struggling in prayer, Ruth realized her life’s mission was to be bound up in Billy’s passion for evangelism. They were married in August 1943, following graduation.

Ruth’s ministry flourished in the mountains of western North Carolina, where she built the family homestead and raised five children-sometimes single-handedly while her husband was away. Ruth treasured her role as the strong woman behind “America’s Pastor” and was Billy’s closest confidant, most trusted advisor, and dearest friend. She loved to move behind the scenes, away from the spotlight, and helped him craft and research sermons and even books.

“My father would not have been what he is today if it wasn’t for my mother,” son Franklin said. “She stood strong for what was biblically correct and accurate. She would help my father prepare his messages, listening with an attentive ear, and if she saw something that wasn’t right or heard something that she felt wasn’t as strong as it could be, she was a voice to strengthen this or eliminate that. Every person needs that kind of input in their life, and she was that to my father.”

“I don’t believe Mother has adequately been recognized and honored for what she had done; because, without her, Daddy’s ministry would not have been possible,” said Ruth Graham, regarding her mother’s influence and partnership in her father’s ministry.

“How does one live with one of the world’s most famous men?” daughter Ruth continued. “God began training my mother for this position years ago in China. Her parents exercised a profound effect upon the development of her character, and laid the foundations for who she was. What she witnessed in her family home, she practiced for herself—dependence on God in every circumstance, love for His Word, concern for others above self, and an indomitable spirit displayed with a smile.

“Her happiness and fulfillment did not depend on her circumstances,” the younger Ruth concluded. “She was a lovely, beautiful, and wise woman, because early in life she made Christ her home, her purpose, her center, her confidant, and her vision.”

Ruth Bell Graham was always a vital part of Mr. Graham’s evangelistic career, and he turned to her for advice and input about many ministry decisions. After her upbringing in China and high school experience in Korea, she continued to have a burden for the people of Asia. She encouraged her husband to visit and later accompanied him during his historic visits to the People’s Republic of China.

"Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team,” Mr. Graham said of his life-long marriage and ministry partner. “No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support.

“I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we’ve had in the mountains together,” Mr. Graham continued. “We’ve rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven.”

Bedridden or wheelchair-bound since the late 1990s, Mrs. Graham wasn’t able to accompany her husband during his last few years of ministry, but was always a continued source of inspiration and support for him through her prayers and wise biblical counsel."

"There never would have been a Billy Graham, if it weren't for Ruth Graham"- Ned Graham

“As I grew older I realized that my parent’s love for one another was deeper than just the look in their eyes each time one of them came into the room. Their love was based on more than their physical and emotional attraction. It was based on solid, uncompromising commitment—first to Jesus Christ, second to the institution of marriage, and then commitment to each other.” -Gigi Graham Tchividjian, daughter

“My mother taught me by her example that Jesus is everything. He was the wellspring of her love and joy and peace that overflowed into our home. His presence was enough to ease the pain of her loneliness without Daddy. His power was enough to get her through the day, for all practical purposes, as a single parent. I have no doubt that the reason I love Jesus and I love my Bible is because she did… she planted those seeds in my heart long ago.” (Anne Graham Lotz, daughter)

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her... She does him good, not evil, all the days of her life... Her husband is respected at the city gate... She watches over the ways of her household... her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her: ...'Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." -Proverbs 31: 11a, 12,27a, 28, 30

References:

NKJV Women's study bible

Biography: http://www.billygraham.org/specialsections/rbg/rbg_default.asp

http://www.marriagemissions.com/ruth-graham-%E2%80%93-finishing-well-marriage-message-309/

His way

No desire will ever be placed in you by the Holy Spirit unless He intends to fulfill it. So let your faith rise up and soar away to claim all the land you can discover. S.A. Keen

His Way

"God sent me on when I would stay

('Twas cool within the wood);

I did not know the reason why.

I heard a boulder crashing by

'Cross the path where I had stood.

He had me stay when I would go;

'Your will be done I said,' I said.

They found one day at early dawn,

Across the way I would have gone,

A serpent with a mangled head.

I ask no more the reason why,

although I may not see

the path ahead, His way I go;

For though I know not, He does know,

And He will choose safe paths for me."

-author unknown

"I laid it down in silence,

this work of mine,

and took what had been sent me-

a resting time.

The Master's voice had called me

to rest apart;

'Apart with Jesus only,'

echoed my heart.

I took the rest and stillness

from His own hand,

and felt this present illness

was what He planned.

When He says 'Rest'-

our ways are blind and crooked;

His way is best.

Work He Himself has given,

He will complete.

There may be other errands

for tired feet;

there may be other duties

for tired hands,

the present, is obedience

to His commands.

There is a blessed resting

in lying still,

In letting His hand mold us,

just as He will.

His work must be completed.

His lesson set;

He is the Master Workman:

Do not forget!

It is not only 'working'.

We must be trained

And Jesus 'learned' obedience,

through suffering gained.

For us, His yoke is easy,

His burden light.

His discipline most needful,

And all is right.

We are to be His servants;

We never choose

if this tool or if that one

our hands will use.

In working or in waiting

may we fulfill

not ours at all, but only

the Master's will!"

-author unknown

Streams in the Desert

Studies through Isaiah 41 & 43

Love this song so much. We have such an amazing, loving, merciful, gracious, sovereign Lord and Savior who is always there for us! I really could go on and on with all the adjectives, but I'll leave it at that seeing as how no words could possibly ever be an adequate description. I will simply refer to His beautiful promises in His Word that we can rest in, a peace only He can give that is beyond understanding! How amazing it is that we can "fear not" because the LORD, our Savior holds our hand through every thing!! I love it!!

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." (Is. 43:1-3)

"Fear not, for I am with you" (Is. 43:5)

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand... For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you." (Is. 41:10,13)

Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you. Ps 55:22

"I am a servant of Christ to a foreign nation for the unspeakable glory of life everlasting which is in Jesus Christ our Lord". - St. Patrick

St. Patrick has been called "one of the greatest missionaries who ever lived". Interesting fact is that he was actually British, not Irish. He was born into a Christian family with priests and deacons for relatives, but by his own admission was "not a good Christian". As a teenager he was carried into slavery by Irish raiders. His faith was strengthened through this ordeal of extended periods of isolation without human contact and he was eventually "born again". He endured the years of isolation by praying 100 prayers each day and another 100 each night. He eventually escaped and fled back to Britain to his family through faith and God's amazing grace and mercy, Patrick made the 200 mile trip on foot without being captured or injured, just as God had promised. Another interesting fact is that St. Patrick wasn't technically a "Saint" either- he was a pastor. When he fled to Britain, he started attending seminary and was then ordained as a Pastor.

He was in Britain until he felt God calling him back to Ireland as a missionary through a dream (just as He called Paul to Macedonia in a vision in Acts 16:9-10). The Roman Catholic Church had given up on converting the pagan Celtic people, deeming such "barbarians" as "beyond hope". Their enemies were terrified of them! However Patrick still had a heart for them nonetheless and sold all his possessions to become a missionary. Though he doubted his ability, he returned to the land that had enslaved him with as much zeal as the apostle Paul (one of my other favorite missionaries).

He definitely had a unique strategy as he worked as a Preacher and sold sums of money to tribal leaders to ensure his safety in traveling and preaching the Gospel. He functioned as a true missionary in trying to relate to the Irish people and communicate the Gospel to them in their culture (see also 1 Cor. 9:19-22). Legend says that he would use a 3 leaf clover to explain the Gospel and the Holy Trinity. It's also been written that upon entering a pagan clan, he would convert the tribal leaders first, then concentrate on healing, casting demons out, and preaching- showing them how to turn from their idols to the true and living God (1 Thes 1:9). He would baptize the converts and raise up pastors. When there were enough converted, he would build a simple church that did not resemble Roman architecture and hand it over to one of the pastors so that he could move on and repeat the process somewhere else. It's been written that he converted between 30-40 of the 150 tribes to become Christian, he trained over 1000 pastors, planted over 700 churches, and was one of the first people in history to take a strong public stand against slavery.

In his Confessio Patrick writes about his burden to evangelize the Irish pagans. He saw his life's work through the lens of Matthew 28 and Acts 1; Patrick prayed that God would "never allow me to be separated from His people whom He has won in the end of the earth". For Patrick, the ends of the earth was Ireland. It has been said of Patrick that he was "soaked in the Bible" and that he embraced the missionary mandate to lead the nations to Christ (which was very unusual in his day). His unique missionary strategy was truly original and no one in western Christendom was or had ever been"possessed by such strong convictions".

In his Confessio, Patrick referred to himself as a "sinner", a "simple countryman", and the "least of all the faithful". He wrote that before he was captured, He "did not know the true God". He goes on to confess:

"And there the Lord opened my mind to an awareness of my unbelief, in order that, even so late, I might remember my transgressions and turn with all my heart to the Lord, my God who had regard for my insignificance and pitied my youth and ignorance. And he watched over me before I knew him, and before I learned sense or even distinguished between good and evil, and he protected me, and consoled me as a father would his son.

Therefore, indeed, I cannot keep silent, nor would it be proper, so many favours and graces has the Lord deigned to bestow on me in the land of my captivity. For after chastisement from God, and recognizing him, our way to repay him is to exalt Him and confess his wonders before every nation under heaven"

He truly was a humble missionary and a man from whom many lessons can be learned.

..."Therefore be amazed, you great and small who fear God, and you men of God, eloquent speakers, listen and contemplate. Who was it summoned me, a fool, from the midst of those who appear wise and learned in the law and powerful in rhetoric and in all things? Me, truly wretched in this world, He inspired before others that I could be-- if I would-- such a one who, with fear and reverence, and faithfully, without complaint, would come to the people to whom the love of Christ brought me and gave me in my lifetime, if I should be worthy, to serve them truly and with humility.

According, therefore, to the measure of one's faith in the Trinity, one should proceed without holding back from danger to make known the gift of God and everlasting consolation, to spread God's name everywhere with confidence and without fear, in order to leave behind, after my death, foundations for my brethren and sons whom I baptized in the Lord in so many thousands.

...Thus I give untiring thanks to God who kept me faithful in the day of my temptation, so that today I may confidently offer my soul as a living sacrifice for Christ my Lord; who am I, Lord? or, rather, what is my calling? that you appeared to me in so great a divine quality, so that today among the barbarians I might constantly exalt and magnify your name in whatever place I should be, and not only in good fortune, but even in affliction? So that whatever befalls me, be it good or bad, I should accept it equally, and give thanks always to God who revealed to me that I might trust in him, implicitly and forever, and who will encourage me so that, ignorant, and in the last days, I may dare to undertake so devout and so wonderful a work; so that I might imitate one of those whom, once, long ago, the Lord already pre-ordained to be heralds of his Gospel to witness to all peoples to the ends of the earth. So are we seeing, and so it is fulfilled; behold, we are witnesses because the Gospel has been preached as far as the places beyond which no man lives."

"And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, 'Come over to Macedonia and help us.' Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them". -Acts 16:9-10

"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some". -1 Cor. 9:19-22

"Jesus said to him, '... but you go and preach the kingdom of God" -Luke 9:60

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age". Amen. -Matt. 28:19-20

"And He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." -Mark 16:15

My life song:

References:

All scripture NKJV

Confessions of St. Patrick

STAY... part 2

Some lessons on obedience... part 2

"O restless heart- beating against the prison bars of your circumstances and longing for a wider realm of usefulness- allow God to direct all your days. Patience and trust, even in the midst of the monotony of your daily routine, will be the best preparation to courageously handle the stress and strain of a greater opportunity, which God may someday send."

"I'll stay where You've put me; I will, dear Lord,

Though I wanted so badly to go;

I was eager to march with the 'rank and rifle,'

Yes, I wanted to lead them, You know.

I planned to keep step to the music loud,

to cheer when the banner unfurled,

to stand in the midst of the fight straight and proud,

but I'll stay where You've put me.

I'll stay where You've put me; I'll work, dear Lord,

though the field be narrow and small,

and the ground neglected, and stones lie thick,

and there seems to be no life at all.

The field is Your own, only give me the seed,

I'll sow it with never a fear;

I'll till the dry soil while I wait for the rain,

and rejoice when the green blades appear;

I'll work where You've put me.

I'll stay where You've put me, I will, dear Lord;

I'll bear the day's burden and hear,

always trusting You fully; when sunset has come

I'll lay stalks of grain at Your feet.

And then, when my earth work is ended and done,

In the light of eternity's glow,

Life's record all closed, I surely will find

It was better to stay than to go;

I'll stay where you've put me."

Devotional from March 17th, Streams in the Desert

STAY... part 1

"Stay there until I tell you" -Matt 2:13

STAY... such a hard word to comprehend, understand, and obey. In our many lessons of obedience and sacrifice that we learn on this earth as believers and followers of our Lord Jesus Christ, how could one word be such a struggle? Pastor Greg Laurie often says (paraphrased) that if you have a SMALL God, you've got BIG problems, but if you have a BIG God, then you have SMALL problems. That is not something he says easily nor is it a statement I easily quote. It's not to say that the trials, struggles and mountains in our lives are unimportant, but compared to the God we serve, they are minuscule- nothing He can't handle. It is only through experiencing His Sovereignty and love first hand that we come to understand that truth and not be offended by it. Max Lucado has said, "God loves us just the way we are, BUT He refuses to leave us that way. He wants us to be just like Jesus" (emphasis added). "BUT"... that word is so crucial in so many bible passages and so crucial in this quote, putting more emphasis on the latter part of the statement than the first.

James has said, "count it all joy when you fall into various trials... that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:2-3). It is the heart surgery that is done within you when in trials that God's purpose is seen greatest; His sovereign and almighty power becomes glorified through us as we choose to trust and not question. Who are we to question the will of the Father? Martin Luther once said 'A true believer will crucify, or put to death, the question, 'Why?' He will simply obey without questioning.' And I refuse to be one of those people who 'unless... [I] see miraculous signs and wonders... will never believe" (John 4:48). I will obey without questioning." When Paul prayed for God to take away his "thorn in the flesh", He responded, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12: 9). In Isaiah 41:10 the Lord promises "Fear not for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strength you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand". And again in verse 13 of the same chapter the Lord declares, "For I, the Lord your God, WILL hold your right hand. Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you". Verse 14 goes on with "I WILL help you,' says the Lord and your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel". What beautiful, powerful promises those are!! The Lord promises that if we go to Him, surrender to Him, HE WILL help us and hold us up! Just as He promises Paul "MY STRENGTH is made perfect in weakness" (emphasis added).

We need to lean on God in times of trials and suffering. We must go to Him for our strength. We must trust when we don't understand. We must have faith and surrender to the will of the Lord. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding". So what does true, complete surrender to God look like? How do we surrender to God all of our heart when our lives our turned upside down? When everything we once knew or understood, gets questioned, upturned, and changed? When everything in his life was turned upside down, Job responded "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" (Job 2:10a). The enemy was trying to pull Job down and get him to abandon the Lord, yet "in all this Job did not sin with his lips" (Job 2:10b). We have different insight into Job's life and struggles because we are able to read the conversations that took place between Satan and the Lord. However, Job was not privy to this knowledge. All he knew was that one day everything in his life was great, and the next it was all gone, his life was turned upside down and he was left in the ruins of despair and grief. Later on in his story, Job says "God is wise in heart and mighty in strength. Who has hardened himself against Him and prospered?... He does great things past finding out, yes, wonders without number... If He takes away, who can hinder Him? who can say to Him, 'what are You doing? " (Job 9:4, 10, 12). Job was in great despair, he was desperate. While Job was not perfect or without sin, his desperation and faith led him to admitting and proclaiming the Lord as sovereign. Job is merely an example of how to handle adversity and tragedy; he persevered in faith and integrity and was greatly blessed at the end of his end by our tender and merciful Lord.

So what are we to do with life changes? When we were prepared to stay and are called to "go"?When we are prepared to "go" and the Lord says "stay"? We must remember that the Lord is working in and through every aspect of our lives and sometimes, just as Abraham learned, we are merely meant to show our faithfulness by starting a path where we were never meant to reach the end of the road. The Lord told Abraham "Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me” (Gen. 22:12). "For now I know"... taking Isaac to the alter was all that Abraham was meant to accomplish on that path. When he proved he was willing to serve and follow, the Lord took him and his son on a different path. God never closes a door before He's opened another.

It's so easy in this world to question the will of the Father because there is no way we could ever comprehend it this side of heaven. It's so easy to ask "Why" or to sometimes think that "I don't like this plan, I don't like this road I'm on... When can we go on a different road Father?" What's important in our frailty however is that we take those thoughts captive to the Lord and obey (2 Cor. 10:5). We must follow Jesus' example in the Garden when He "fell on His face" and cried out to the Father "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me"(Matt 26:39a). Jesus prayed about His "thorn in the flesh" just as Paul did, yet Jesus concluded His prayer with "nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will" (Matt. 26:39b). There it is again, "nevertheless" or "but"... makes the second half of this verse of more significance than the first. It is Jesus' example here that I realize I must follow, must continue to ingrain in my responses. The key to encountering trials or mountains in our lives is more than just taking them to the Lord in prayer (for we should be taking everything to the Lord in prayer); the key is faithfully praying and trusting in the Lord Almighty's sovereign power. His will will be done and we must trust in that. "[He] will never leave us or forsake us" (Deut 31:6,8). "God is faithful, He will never allow us to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear" (1 Cor 10:13). The Lord's ways truly are unknown and unquestionable; His sovereignty is incontestable. I pray that I would get away from asking "why" with an attitude of complaint and instead faithfully and trustingly pray as Jesus did, "Not my will... but Your will be done". May we pray as the humble father did in one of the miracles, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). While we have the amazing privilege of being real with God with our emotions, I pray that I continue to get away from the question "why" and instead ask "how". "Lord, how can You use me in this?... how can I glorify You through this?... how can I serve You with this or in this?" More than we need an answer to life's problems or questions, we desperately need to cleave to our BIG God and rest in His "peace which surpasses all understanding" for He will "guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:7).

Be still my restless heart, for the whole world is a mission field.

"Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Gen 18:14.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him" Ps. 37:7

References:

All scripture NKJV

Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado