Where your heart is...

"Home is where your heart is"- a popular saying that I never quite fully comprehended as much as these past few years.

Almost 4 years, my life was forever changed. The day I set my foot on soil I had only dreamed of and seen in pictures, with an enthusiastic passion in my heart, tears in my eyes, and the biggest smile I've ever had on my face. I had had a vision and passion for a place God had set in my heart that I had never before visited. A passion, a desire, an interest, a love cultivated over years of reflection and prayer. Is it possible to love something before you see it? To love people before you meet them? To love a country, a continent you've never been to? I believe it is, when God places that place and those people on your heart.

I often pray for a bigger heart, to be able to love more... to love more like Jesus did so that others may see Him in me. For a big heart that loves through poverty and brokenness, that sees the beauty behind those broken eyes... that sees the face of Jesus. Matt. 25 says, “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ Being surrounded by so much suffering requires the love of Jesus in our hearts. People often ask me, "Why Africa? ... when people are in need everywhere". This is true I tell them, there are hurting people everywhere; but I'm not called everywhere... I'll GO where I'm called. We are commanded numerous times throughout the Bible to GO... therefore it's a much bolder statement to say that you are called to stay. Regardless, complacency can be a very dangerous place to be... and contentment a dangerous attitude when used outside the context of fervent prayer and trust in the Lord's Sovereignty. If we all lived our comfortable, content, and complacent lives, what would happen to all the lives and souls all over the world, to the ends of the earth? What would happen to this world if we all sat around, waiting for "someone else to do it?" I don't say any of this lightly, nor do I take any of the Lord's commands lightly. I often wonder why He would call me at all, why not someone else who's "more equipped". Someone who has more knowledge, more wisdom, more skills and talents, and more loving? Why not them? Why me? I am reminded and humbled by the words of Paul in situations such as these, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all" (1 Tim. 1:25).

Plagued with the knowledge of my inadequacies, shortcomings, and weaknesses as a "Christian", "missionary", and "nurse", I am in constant awe and need of my Father's wisdom and strength and so ever thankful He has enough strength for the both of us. With His love, He can accomplish what He wills through me, irregardless of any "qualifications" or "titles". It's so common and easy in American culture to pursue fame, fortune, and power... hiding behind masks and titles. Yet it is God who gives us our strengths, abilities, passions, skills, gifts, and talents. He is the Provider.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me" (1 Cor. 15:10).

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:14).

"For the love of Christ compels us..." (2 Cor. 5:14) "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (Col. 3:2-3).

Africa is a beautiful place, with beautiful people who deserve blessings and to know their Father, and get to call Him Savior. They are people I love and wish everyone could meet. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matt. 5:3). Yes it's true, there are hurting people everywhere and Africa isn't for everyone... but it is for me. I have come to that realization over almost 10 years of prayer... Oh how I miss it when I'm not there, so much that it makes my heart ache every time I think about it... fills my eyes with tears as I picture the faces

of those I have met and had the privilege of calling "rafiki" (friend).

After 4 very long (yet in reflection short) years, it is with great anticipation and thankfulness that I am heading back this week to Kenya, my love, my first love. I may not know what the future holds or when I'll be back to Africa or Kenya after this short trip. People who know me best like to joke and say "IF I come back from Africa at all", oh how much my passion and excitement for this land and people must shine brightly in my spirit. In conclusion, I am SO grateful to believe and trust in a Sovereign Lord who does know my future and has blessed me with an opportunity to serve Him; following His lighted path is the safest place to be in the world. Home truly is where your heart is.

"It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home."
- J. Hudson Taylor

Our big "KARIBOU" to the Kipkaren village, 12/8/07

All verses NASB or NKJV